three-six-five

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Dear Karen!

HI KAREN! We met on tumblr talking about JR Celski. And then you followed me. We started talking, and you were pretty damn cool. You were so cool that you did a Celski spam for me! I remember teaching you how to speak Tagalog.. on AIM… HAHA. Maybe you still remember, maybe not.. but its okay (x Ah, and then I found out you liked Moulin Rouge and RENT. I owe you a Rent DVD! I’ll give it to you when JR Celski comes to NYC for a meet and greet :D

Damn, I can’t believe you live in NYC. That’s really close. I was just there too! Gah, and I can’t believe you also met Travis Jayner.. I shoulda gone :// You said he was so chill.. so jealous…. T________________T

Gah! he has to come back! AND JR CELSKI HAS TO COME HERE FOR A MEET AND GREET. I shall meet you soon Karen! Promise :D

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from and Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Hey Fambam!

I added the two together, because its been a while since I’ve had deep, heartfelt talks with any of you.

I miss you girls. So much. It took a while to realize who I wanted to write this to. But really, when I think about it, I really haven’t been close close to any of you. I mean, I see Liz, Laura, Jess, and Maria during school, sometimes Patricia at the tennis courts if I pass by, but I haven’t seen Chris Anne in years.

I miss you girls so much. I miss telling you guys my life story, making those stupid jokes. December 23, 2005 was our day. We were created that day. We added members the next year, the guys. I miss them too, but not as much as I miss you girls. We were supposed to always stay close. Like ALL of us. I think I’m the only one that somewhat drifted from the group, considering Patricia and Chris Anne are cousins and you other four are still pretty damn close. I regret not staying close to you. Even though I’m completely happy with the really close friends I have now, I wish I could have stayed close to you girls.

I’ll come back soon. I’ll hang out with you guys this summer, because we have to. I miss you girls too much. Hopefully when we hang out, we’ll all just click again.

I love you girls <3 I really really love you.

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

To anyone that I’ve let down, disappointed, wronged, etc. I’m sorry. I can’t think of a specific person. Well I can. My parents. I already wrote that real letter though. I’d rather not repeat what I said. But basically, sorry for all the bad things I’ve done. For the most part, what I did was probably stupid and I regret it.

The end.

This letter wasn’t very sincere, was it?

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

I don’t have anyone I really “hate”. And I don’t know who caused me the most pain.

WHAT LIES NIKKI.

Thing is, I’m avoiding writing a letter, because I have nothing good to write about him. Or his friends. And I don’t wanna write him another hate letter because he’s just gonna bug my ask box / formspring again with pointless shit like “I miss you” “I hope everything is better with us again” BLAH BLAH. JUST STOP IT. I don’t care about you. I thought our break up wouldn’t be that bad. I mean, we lasted for 2 months. A relationship that long (for me at least) doesn’t hurt. But that proved wrong. You freakin thought I was in a relationship with you for OVER A YEAR. You thought I would cheat on my boyfriend. FOR YOU. What would I get from that?! Nothing!

And to your friends.. OH DAMN. THEY ARE CREEPY AS HELL. Know why? Well the first one of them thought (and was fully convinced) that I liked him before I met you. He called me fucking “boo” for how long. He was “heartbroken” when I started talking to you. Your other friend fucking got all personal the first time I talked to him. He made a big deal when I got scared of him.

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS?

Dear lord, I think if I hate anyone, it would be you. You made me suffer in 2008. Because of you, I didn’t really feel safe. Because of you, I felt like I was gonna be stalked by you.

I’m glad you’re out of my life, even though a few months ago, I thought you came back. Stay out of my life. And learn English.

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

I have a lot, but I’ll choose one.

Dear Lola Mary,

Whenever pa talks about you, its all positive. There’s not a single bad thing I’ve heard about you. You were beautiful, inside and out. You were an amazing writer. Your family simply loves you. When we talk on facebook, they always remember the best times; in fact, I think they only have good memories of you. I’m jealous, so jealous, of all my other cousins. They had a chance to meet you. I mean, yes, I met you. But I was too young to remember you. But I remember your glasses, and how I wore them. In your pictures, you were stunning. You inherited all the good qualities of a French and Filipino woman. Everyday, I wish I could meet you. I wish you were still alive. I think I would get along with you the most out of all my grandparents. I wish you were alive long enough to seem me at least graduate 8th grade. I know we’d get along. You know so much about our family history. Its something that’s interested me for so long. I miss you Lola Mary. RIP <3

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Dear Liz,

Hey, biff. We haven’t had a date in a while. I miss you. We used to be so close. I used to live in your house, basically. What happened? I know high school separated us. We grew into our “groups”. We’ve changed a lot. This was pretty inevitable, considering we haven’t had the same classes at all since 8th grade. But.. why is it this year I seemed 10x more distant? Last two years wasn’t bad. We were still close then. We really drifted, didn’t we? I mean, we have our moments. But that seems more like me only. I seem to be the only one who wants to jump into conversation because something important is happening in my life. You have a boyfriend now; you have yet to tell me about him.

Biff, I don’t like that we barely talk now. But can we change that? Can we have a biffdate soon please? I miss you and I still love you. 11 years of friendship can’t be ruined in 1 year.

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Dear JR Celski,

Why can’t you reply to me on twitter? Why can’t you realize that so many girls out here “love” you? WHY CAN’T YOU COME TO JERSEY? Ha, naw, I joke. I sound creepy. But I wanted to say, you are an inspiration. You pulled through even though you couldn’t even walk without someone’s help. And you got TWO bronze medals in your first times at the Olympics, at the age of nine-freakin-teen. It was your FIRST TIME; you were NINETEEN; you got hurt about FIVE MONTHS before. You are an inspiration. You’re also proud as hell of your heritage. You don’t seem like a jerk at all. You’re just an interesting person. I’d love you meet you one day and just hold a conversation, if not kiss you.. and make out… LOL JUST KIDDING. That’s so creepy. Come by NYC one day, or even Jersey. Have a meet and greet. Hold conversations with the people. As hella cute as you are, there are also a handful of us that are just inspired by you and your ability to push through.

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Dear Sam!

You’re not only my cousin, you are my favorite internet friend! Its been 10 years since I last saw / first met you. I remember that day too. It was my Lolo Ambo’s birthday celebration. And my mommy was like “See Nikki, she was born in America, and speaks fluent Tagalog.” And all I could think was “Its because she lives here -___-.” LOL. But now, we’ve reconnected through facebook, and now tumblr. We can have conversations on tumblr about anything, our latest being about the Spain vs Switzerland match which led into us talking about you having homework due TOMORROW! YOU BETTER BE DOING IT. Gah, I can’t believe you’re a senior already.. and I just got out for summer. AND YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN ME. Damn Filipino schooling.

I hate how THIS year was the one when your family chose to go to Europe instead of coming to the States. Hm, come next year though! and maybe I’ll go to the Philippines too! :D And we can have a funner Sangil/Laxamana/Dizon reunion (:

Yay for Facebook and Tumblr for helping us start talking ! See you soon, okays?

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

I’m hesitant to write this, but here we go.

Hi Jarwin.

I haven’t talked to you in over a year. I’m glad though. I’m still slightly angry with what happened. But I’m getting over it. I always see your sister now. I feel awkward, because.. well.. I used to go out with you and all. For about 15 months we went out. I feel nothing now. I think its safe to say I loved you. I know we were young, not even in high school. But everyone knows I don’t believe in age. We saw each other at the SATs in March. We didn’t say a word, not a single word, to each other. My friends told me “you went out with HIM?!” I said “I know..” I feel bad for that now, because it wasn’t all that bad. I mean, the after affect was terrible. But when it was there, it wasn’t all that bad.

I hope you have a good life. And thank you for those 15 months.

Day 6 — A stranger

Dear Stranger,

Thanks for saving me from boredom in Home Depot when I was 5. You were a blond girl about my age, who said “LETS LOOK FOR THE FISHIES” in Home Depot. I never got your name or anything, because I was 5, I didn’t care about that shit. I don’t even remember how you look. I just know you had blond hair. Hey, maybe I met you recently. Maybe I hate you. But you were cool then. When I go to Home Depot, I always remember you saying “LETS LOOK FOR THE FISHIES” in the least creepy way possible.